


Because It's All In The Details

by Cyberfairie



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adoribull - Freeform, Agoraphobia, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 12:49:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4920265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyberfairie/pseuds/Cyberfairie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This piece is in response to a Tumblr prompt but has again spiraled out of control...<br/>The original prompt was:  Rehab Coach Bull Former Addict Dorian -Modern AU- Dorian manages to escape the ritual his father had started on him. Years later he becomes a successful Magical theorist but years trying to cope he had dragged along ‘some bad habits’ that he wishes to cut off. But as of late the attempt to end his addiction had being disastrous so he deiced to actuary some professional help.</p><p>UPDATED 1/31/16  Chapter 2:  For Adoribull Prompt Sunday I'd suggest something from the same universe as your "Because it's all in the Details" one shot! Maybe a confrontation between Dorian and Halward, or Bull and Dorian making more progress?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Dorian, you simply cannot continue to put off these appearances.”

Josephine’s voice sounded tinny, as if she had him on speaker which set Dorian on edge as he demanded, “Who else is there with you?”

“Oh for…” Josie sighed, but a moment later she began again and this time her voice was clear.  “There is no one here.  Far be it from me to try and complete some paperwork while I spoke with you.”

“You know how I feel about…”

“Yes yes, forgive me,” Josie muttered, Dorian didn’t need to be in the room with her to know that she would be rolling her eyes.  “Now, don’t think you’re going to distract me.  The lecture in Val Royeaux is critical Dorian, you simply _have_ to be there.”

“I’m not asking you to cancel it Josephine, simply reschedule…”

“We have rescheduled twice already Dorian,” Josephine snapped, an exasperated huff reaching his ears only a moment before he heard her draw in a deep breath.  When she started speaking again her voice was measured, as if it was taking every ounce of her control to form each crisp word.  “Dorian, I am aware of your issue, however when the University contracted you it was with the understanding that you would complete a series of guest lectures in addition to teaching your graduate classes.”

“I am aware of the contract Josephine,” Dorian bit out, his heart beginning to beat faster at just the thought of Val Royeaux being only the second of the five planned lectures he had agreed to give.  But when he had signed the contract he had had no way of knowing that his father would manage to appear at the first lecture in Redcliffe.

Kaffas, just thinking of the moment was enough to have Dorian’s breath stilling in his chest, his lungs refusing to work properly as he remembered the confrontation that followed.  Forcing his head down between his knees Dorian ignored the phone in favor of reminding himself that he was not in Redcliffe.  He was in his apartment in Skyhold.  The apartment he had gone to great lengths to make certain couldn’t be tracked to him.  He was safe here.  He was…

“ _Dorian_.  Dorian, are you there?” 

There was no missing the concern in Josephine’s voice, but he just couldn’t seem to make his voice work, any air left in his lungs feeling like a ten pound weight that was only being stirred by the fact that his heart was pounding hard enough to make it feel like it was going to burst from his chest.  Dropping the phone he did the only thing he could do when these attacks came on, he went into his bedroom and grabbed the staff that was always sitting by the door then crawled into his closet with it on his lap.  There would be no surprising him here, if his father thought he could come for him again Dorian would happily turn the man into a pile of ash.  But that wasn’t going to happen because he wouldn’t find him here.  He couldn’t find him here.  He couldn’t…

 

 

Dorian wasn’t certain how much time had passed, but his breathing had almost returned to normal and his heart no longer felt like it was attempting to flee his body, when the sound of bells sent him back into high alert.  Not just any bells, but the tinkling of the string of tiny bells he’d attached to his front door.  The door that only two people had a key…

“Dorian?  Where the fuck are you?”  Evie’s voice echoed through the quiet apartment and Dorian felt all the air whoosh from his lungs on a relieved sigh even as he forced himself to stand.  Kaffas, Evie finding him cowering in the closet was the last thing he needed.  Not that it would be the first time, but…

“You better be decent in there Dori or I swear I’m going to kick your ass.  You scared the shit out of Josie,” Evie’s voice only got louder and by the time he stepped out of the closet she was just stepping into his room. 

Any hope of pretending he had just been getting dressed died the moment she saw his staff still tightly gripped in his fist and her expression softened.  “Crap, again?  Dori, you can’t keep going through this.”

He snorted as he pushed past her and forced his fingers to let go of the staff, making certain it was solidly in place leaning against his dresser, easy to grab if he needed it in a hurry.  “Yes, well, apparently I can.”

Dorian startled as Evie’s arms wrapped tightly around him from behind, her lips pressing against his shoulder.  “Josie says she’s sorry.  She didn’t mean to trigger you, the University is just on her about potentially severing your contract.”

Just the thought had him stiffening.  That contract was the only thing that was allowing him to stay here in Skyhold.  Not only the money that it brought in but his work visa also, without it he would be shipped back to Tevinter.  Back where his father…

“Fuck, Dori…breathe,” Evie growled, spinning him around to face her and grabbing his hand to place it on the center of her chest.  “Breathe with me…come on, don’t let him do this to you, you’re stronger than he could ever be.  Now breathe…”

Dorian shut his eyes and just focused on the rise and fall of Evie’s chest until he felt his own breathing level out.  Fuck, but she was right.  This couldn’t continue.  The university had been fine with him not teaching a class this semester and the few graduate students he was still mentoring were happy to come to the apartment, but that would only last so long.  With a sigh he opened his eyes to find Evie looking at him with determination in those large, green eyes rather than pity.  “You’re right of course.”

“I usually am,” she smirked, retaining possession of his hand as she pulled him back through his apartment and shoved him down onto the sofa before continuing on into the kitchen.  Because the living area was open concept he could watch as she grabbed a glass and filled it with tap water before returning to shove it into his hand.  “Now drink that and I’ll tell you what we’re going to do.”

Dorian snorted.  Now there was the Evie he knew and loved.  When he had landed in Skyhold he had expected only Josephine to meet him, but apparently Evie had told her lover that someone who had just uprooted himself from everything he knew deserved more than one person to greet him in his new home.  And just like that, from the first hello she had attached herself to him and refused to let go, even now, when just having to go to the market on the corner was nearly impossible she continued to be his saving grace.

“Are you listening to me?”

Oops.  “Yes, yes, you’re going to magically make me better,” Dorian teased, setting the glass down next to where Evie had parked herself on his coffee table.

“You didn’t hear a word I said,” she growled, slapping at his knee and rolling her eyes before starting again.  “I said I know someone.  He’s not a therapist exactly, more like a life coach.”

“I think I have the panic attacks down Evie, no need for a coach,” Dorian smirked.  Kaffas.  He couldn’t leave his house, he didn’t need someone stepping into it to tell him how to live his life.

“Shut up you asshole,” Evie hissed, kicking him in the shin this time.  “Did I mention he’s ex-military?  ‘Cause he is, and he’s been through things Dorian, shit like what your father tried to do to you.  I’m just saying, I think he could help you and if not, maybe you could convince him to go with you to your lectures, kinda like security.”

Dorian had this image of some pacifistic military desk jockey standing off against the three goons his father had brought to Redcliffe last time.  Some of his disbelief must have shown on his face because Evie laughed, “I know how it sounds, but just do me a favor and meet with him.  What can it hurt?”

If those didn’t sound like famous last words Dorian wasn’t sure what did, but he found himself agreeing.  “Ok Evie, I’ll give him a try.”

“I promise Dori, you won’t regret it.”

 

Two days later Dorian was leaning against his front door, his heart again beating like it was trying to set a new record and all he could think was he was already regretting it.  Because there were only two reasons for the giant of a man that was currently standing outside his door, if he was still standing…Dorian looked through the peephole and yes, still standing there.  One, his father had finally upped the stakes and sent someone who could just break down any door Dorian chose to hide behind or two, Evie had failed to mention that her ‘life coach’ buddy was a fucking Qunari.

For the first time in two years Dorian almost hoped it was the first option because the second was going to require him to kill his best friend.  Spying his phone sitting on the coffee table Dorian lunged for it, sweeping it up as he spun around to watch the door as though it was going to splinter in any moment.  And wouldn’t it just serve Evie right if she had to bear audio witness to his rather untimely demise, he snorted as he hit speed dial and waited for her to answer.

“Ah, Dorian,” Evie’s voice cut in without even a greeting.  “I take it Bull arrived.”

“Bull?”

“Yes, The Iron Bull actually, but most of his friends just call him Bull.”

 _Of course they did._   Dorian rolled his eyes even though Evie couldn’t see him.  “You are aware that his country and mine have been at war for over five centuries.”

“Bah, if they really meant it one side would have won already.  Besides, Bull’s Tal-Vashoth now so I don’t think he’ll be after converting you or whatever it is they do.”

That comment actually made Dorian pinch the bridge of his nose as he shook his head slowly.  It never failed to amaze him how absolutely ignorant of the Qunari Southerners were.  As if the atrocities that had been occurring for the last several hundred years would just disappear because they chose not to think of them.  He was half tempted to tell her exactly what the Qunari did to mages when they were caught, but then again, sometimes ignorance was a blessing.

“Dorian, you still there?”

“Yes Evelyn.  So, just to clarify, you are certain the man standing outside my door is your Iron Bull?”

“Don’t forget the ‘The’, he’s very attached to it.  And unless there has been a sudden influx of Qunari into Skyhold that I was unaware of yes, I’m fairly certain he’s your man.”

Dorian stood and crossed back over to the door and looked through the peephole, only to find that the man was gone.  “Shit,” he whispered, ignoring Evie’s queries about what was the matter in favor of carefully opening the door.

The moment he stuck his head out he found himself staring at a very large bicep covered in pink, and not just any pink but a sickening cotton candy pink.

“Finally got confirmation I’m not here to convert you?”  The Iron Bull asked with a chuckle, his one eye crinkling as he grinned down at Dorian.

“Dori…Dorian I hear Bull… _Dori_ …”

“Call you back later Evie,” Dorian muttered distractedly as he thumbed off his phone before turning his attention toward the mountain of a man before him.  “The Iron Bull I presume.”

The Iron Bull stuck out his hand, the smile on his face really too broad for someone who had been left to stand in a hallway for fifteen minutes.  “Yep, that’s me.  Good to meet you.”

“Dorian, Dorian Pavus,” Dorian managed to stutter as his hand was swallowed in a mass of silver flesh.  “Won’t you please come in.”

The Iron Bull looked at him critically for a moment before nodding his head slightly and following Dorian through the door.  “So, I take it the Boss didn’t tell you I was a qunari.”

Dorian snorted, then attempted to cover it up with a cough.  “She might have forgotten that detail.”

“Is it going to be a problem?"

 _Yes._ The word hung on the tip of Dorian’s tongue and then he really looked at the man before him.  And somehow between the pink dress shirt, sleeves rolled up to reveal forearms larger than Dorian’s thighs, and the eye patch he had failed to notice before in a matching dawnstone, Dorian found himself curious about the man before him rather than frightened.  And for a man who had feared just about every stranger over the age of majority that he’d encountered for the past eight months, the change was a welcome one.  “No, no problem.  I was just expecting someone a little less…”

“Present?”

“Yes, I suppose that is one way to put it,” Dorian chuckled, waving his hand toward the couch as he himself moved towards the lone chair in the room that he doubted The Iron Bull could even fit himself into.  “I admit to being a little confused though.  Evelyn said you were a friend but you call her Boss.”

The Iron Bull shrugged as he sat in the middle of the couch, his horns reaching almost the entire length of it, leading Dorian to wonder where a man a large as he was actually found furniture.  “I was running security when I first got to Skyhold, the Boss hired me when she could but when she found out I was looking at getting into coaching she insisted on setting me up in her office.  To be honest I’d probably still be running things out of the back of my truck without her.”

“Well, I suppose it’s good to know I’m not the only stray Evie has taken in.”

The Iron Bull’s laugh this time was so deep and true that Dorian could almost feel it in his own chest.  “Yeah, Boss has a way of doing that.  I’ll introduce you to Krem sometime, the Boss found out he could sew and now he’s got his own line of kid’s toys.”

“Children’s toys?”

“Yep, little stuffed nugs mostly, though I occasionally con him into making me a dragon.  I’m partial to dragons.”

 _Of course you are_ , Dorian thought, though at this moment he wouldn’t be surprised if the huge Qunari pulled out a set of knitting needles.  Or poetry.  He seemed the sort that might like poetry.  And not that horrible Antivan shit where someone had to die before it was considered a success but something Orlesian, all flowery and full of hearts and stars.

As if he could hear Dorian’s thoughts The Iron Bull sobered, leaning forward until his elbows were on his knees and pinning Dorian with a stare.  “So, what happened to you nine and a half months ago that made you a prisoner in your own home?”

Dorian just stared as The Iron Bull shifted, leaning back again and letting one of his arms run along the back of the couch as if he hadn’t just torn the sheet off the druffalo in the middle of the room.  Fasta vass, what was that he’d been thinking about soft?  The man was a demon.  A demon that was currently relaxing against his sofa as if he had all the time in the world to get an answer. 

Which might be a good thing because just like every time Dorian had to think of that time he found his focus fading as his heart and lungs began to compete to see who could kill him first.  He closed his eyes, telling himself he was safe here, that the events of that day and those that came before it no longer had the power to hurt him. 

“Dorian…” The Iron Bull’s voice was softer but definitely closer than he had been before and Dorian forced open his eyes to see the qunari kneeling before him.  When he found Dorian looking at him he smiled slightly.  “Hey big guy, it ok if I touch you?”

Not trusting himself to speak Dorian just nodded.

“Good, good,” The Iron Bull practically purred, one of those silver hands wrapping around Dorian’s wrist, his fingers shifting until he found a spot that had Dorian relaxing despite himself, his breathing beginning to slow. 

Now that he was so close Dorian couldn’t help but notice the little lines that bracketed his eye and his mouth as he frowned slightly, his attention firmly focused on the rise and fall of Dorian’s chest.  Only when Dorian felt his breathing return to normal did The Iron Bull look up to meet his gaze, the frown on his face morphing to a wry little grin.  “Ok, so sorry ‘bout that.  Boss didn’t tell me about the panic attacks, just the agoraphobia.”

Dorian managed a pathetic little chuckle.  “Yes, well I think we’ve already established Evie has a habit of glossing over the details.”

The Iron Bull shifted, looking behind him as if judging the coffee table before deciding it would do and lowering himself onto the edge of it, his hand still wrapped firmly around Dorian’s wrist.  Noticing Dorian looking at the spot Bull shifted his grip to cradle Dorian’s hand before turning it over and laying one finger on a spot about two inches up from his palm.  “There are pulse points here and here,” he began, shifting his hand slightly up and to the right.  “You can do the same thing yourself once you know where the points are.  They won’t stop a full on attack but if you can catch yourself early enough…”

The Iron Bull broke off as Dorian grinned broadly.  Venhedis, nine months and all along he could have been helping himself.  “Show me, show me again.”

Dorian tried to ignore the way his pulse jumped when The Iron Bull took ahold of his other hand and curled it in his own palm, using his own fingers to direct Dorian’s to just the right spots.  Again it was like having a wave of calm rush through him. 

Dorian couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his lips as he felt something he hadn’t felt for months…something that seemed surprisingly like hope.


	2. Old Fears and New Discoveries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Adoribull Prompt Sunday I'd suggest something from the same universe as your "Because it's all in the Details" one shot! Maybe a confrontation between Dorian and Halward, or Bull and Dorian making more progress?
> 
> This piece takes place about 6 months after Chapter 1...

Dorian stared out the window at the stars, bright shining beacons against the black of night, and told himself there was no difference tonight than any other night.  Of course he hadn’t ended up with a Masters in ancient Tevinter history by being a fool, so his brain just countered his argument by informing him that last night the stars hadn’t been moving at sixty miles an hour past his window.  Not to mention the curtains, where were the curtains that normally offered him some degree of anonymity as he looked out into the night? Or the staff, where was the staff that he always held as long as the windows were open, the one with grooves worn in the middle? The indentations had been carved by tension-tight fingers gripping the handle fiercely, as if the stars themselves were threatening to drop from the sky and attack.

Closing his eyes Dorian dropped his head back against the headrest, his fingers flying to the pulse points that Bull had given him all those months ago. when Dorian had first learned that there might be ways to counter the panic attacks that were keeping him prisoner in his own home.

“You doing alright, Big Guy?”  Dorian could tell that Bull was sneaking glances at him from the way the bench seat of Bull’s truck shifted.  If Dorian had thought himself beyond feeling embarrassed at the suddenness of his attacks, this one was teaching him otherwise.

“Fine, fine.  Just apparently shouldn’t look out the window,” Dorian muttered, knowing if he lied Bull would just call him on it anyway.  He’d learned that lesson the hard way about a month into his weekly appointments with Bull when he’d lied and told Bull his day had been panic attack free, despite two minor incidents only a short time before Bull’s arrival.  Bull had been pleased and had quickly suggested that it might be a good time to try using the techniques he’d taught Dorian to leave the house.

Perhaps, if he had been calm, it might have been possible.  Dorian had certainly done his level best to stick by Bull’s side as the larger man stepped out of the foyer and into the bright sun but Dorian hadn’t gotten more than one foot outside before he found himself scurrying back to the security of his apartment, his heart beating a million miles an hour no matter how much pressure he put on his wrists.

Bull had finally found him huddled in the back of his closet, his horns threatening to toss all of Dorian’s carefully organized clothes crashing to the floor when he’d squatted down before Dorian and asked, “Something you forgot to tell me?”

It was only then that he’d realized Bull had known he was lying all the time.  That even the suggestion had been aimed at getting Dorian to tell the truth and at the time Dorian had been tempted to freeze that little grin right off his face.  But as shitty as Bull’s little demonstration had been, it had proved to be a turning point for Dorian trusting Bull and when they’d finally stepped out that door two weeks later Dorian had even grudgingly accepted that perhaps Bull knew what he was doing.

Of course, sitting in Bull’s truck only twenty minutes into a three hour trip, Dorian was willing to rethink that approval. It was going to be a long ride if he had to spend it with his eyes pressed shut.  Dorian startled slightly when Bull’s big hand dropped down onto his, his eyes opening for a moment and locking on to Bull’s concerned gaze.  “Shouldn’t you be watching…” Dorian broke off when he realized that at some point during his musings Bull had pulled off the highway. They were now parked in the dirt, the engine still running.  “Well, that’s rather embarrassing.”

Bull chuffed, his thumb rubbing soothingly across Dorian’s wrist twice before settling back down to check his pulse again.  “We’ve still got a ways to go, Dorian.  You gonna be ok?  We can always call Josie and tell her you aren’t ready.”

Dorian snorted.  “I’m fairly certain I would agree to be shipped in a crate rather than listen to that disappointed sigh of hers one more time.”

Bull’s laugh filled the truck, though the eye he had focused on Dorian remained concerned.  “Alright, so going back isn’t an option.  Maybe we were wrong about it being easier to travel at night, I can look for a hotel to hole up in until morning.”

“Or you could stop babying me and just drive the damn truck,” Dorian snapped, his frustration at his own failings overflowing onto Bull and leaving Dorian feeling like an ass.  Sighing heavily, he dropped his head back against the headrest but kept his eyes on Bull.  “I’m sorry, Bull.”

“S’alright,” Bull shrugged, and Dorian knew that would be the end of it.  He’d learned the big qunari didn’t hold grudges which was probably a good thing considering Dorian had found himself apologizing to the man more than anyone else he’d ever known.  “What do you think would be best?”

“I could possibly learn teleportation.  I mean, it has never been done but surely a mage of my not inconsiderable skill…”

“If anyone could do it, it would be you.” Bull chuckled, the skin around his eye crinkling in a way that Dorian found intriguing.  “For now, what’s say we get started again and if you need a break you let me know.”

Funny, until just that moment Dorian hadn’t even realized that his anxiety had settled, his pulse slowing to its normal pace. He hadn’t so much as glanced out the window once while Bull had been talking to him.  Settling back in for the ride, Dorian let his eyes slide shut as he debated just how foolish he was going to sound if he asked Bull to just talk to him, about anything, just something to keep his brain from turning on itself.

He felt the shift of the seat that told him Bull was glancing at him again and then it was as if Bull had read his mind because as the qunari shifted the truck back into gear he also began, “So, did I ever tell you how I met Krem…”

 

 

Dorian grumbled at the nudge to his shoulder, his hand slapping in that direction just as he registered Bull’s low chuckle.  “Come on, wake up, Dorian.  We’re here.”

Eyes flying open, Dorian was surprised to find himself staring at the circular drive that lead to a covered entry, a pair of glass doors flanked by sculpted trees that rose in twisted spires.  “The Skyhold Palace I take it.”

Bull grunted, his hand rubbing nervously at the base of one horn.  “That’s what the sign out front says.”

Dorian chuckled, then sobered as his eyes skipped down to watch the way the fingers on Bull’s other hand curled around the steering wheel, tendons pulling at silver skin.  “Everything alright, Bull?”

Bull’s own answering chuckle was hesitant.  “Think that’s my line, Big Guy.”

Dorian arched a brow, fingers releasing his seatbelt so he could slide closer to Bull, his hand clasping around Bull’s wrist in warning before sliding up to cover the hand gripping the wheel, able to feel Bull’s hand trembling slightly now that they were skin to skin.  “Nice deflection,” Dorian drawled, letting his fingers curl even tighter around Bull’s own.

“Hey, I taught you that.”

“Still deflecting.  Otherwise we wouldn’t be stopped in the middle of the driveway.”

“Maybe I was just trying to give you a chance to wipe the drool away before the upper class had a chance to realize you were only human.”

Dorian snorted.  “Please, I couldn’t be _only_ human if you paid me.  Now, either tell me what’s wrong or I’m going back to sleep.  Some of us have lectures to give tomorrow.”

“You don’t pay me to listen to my problems.”  Bull chuffed, slipping his hand from under Dorian’s to put the truck in gear before easing up on the brake.

 _You’re not my friend, you’re my employer._  Bull didn’t have to speak the words for Dorian to hear them, his own hand falling back into his lap as they drove the last two hundred yards to stop before the doors.  The shitty thing was, he wasn’t even paying Bull for this weekend.  The frustrating lummox had insisted that getting out of Skyhold was payment enough, well that and the second room he had in the suite Josie had booked for Dorian.

Just the thought of the suite was enough to remind Dorian of how tired he actually was.  Apparently sleeping sitting up in a moving vehicle was nowhere as refreshing as it sounded, and with a low sigh he opened the door to the truck then reached behind him for the bag Bull had stowed on the rear seat, his staff laying on top of it where it would have been in easy reach had Dorian needed it.  Some habits died hard.

Not trusting himself to remain silent if he so much as looked at Bull, he pulled both bag and staff over the seat and headed for the front doors, pleased when they slid open without a sound and admitted him to the lobby which was both too bright and too quiet for him.

“Good evening, Messere,” the petite elf behind the counter whispered, obviously knowing just how her voice would echo through the cavernous space without benefit of any other noise to mute it.

Dorian forced a smile to his lips, making short work of the distance between the door and check in while inwardly preening at the fact that his feet had moved without him having to concentrate on doing so.  It would seem that his time with Bull was paying off, either that or the woman who barely stood tall enough to see over the counter was simply no threat to his overactive brain.  “Dorian Pavus, I believe I have a reservation.”

“Oh yes, Messere Pavus.  We have been expecting you...”

Dorian tensed slightly at that, his eyes darting around the empty lobby, instinctively looking for one of his father’s hired henchmen before he realized the woman meant the hotel staff in general.  Casually draping one hand over his wrist he pressed at the spots Bull had shown him, ignoring the woman’s babbling as his heart rate quickly calmed.

“Your room key, Messere.  Do you require assistance with your bags?”

“No, no, that will be fine,” Dorian assured her, even managing a little smile before looking back over his shoulder to find that the truck was no longer sitting in the drive though there was as yet no sign of Bull.  He debated waiting for a few moments, his desire to be tucked away in a room with less opportunities for ambush warring with politeness before he remembered Bull’s harsh words of earlier and churlishly decided that if Bull wanted to be treated like an employee then that’s what he would do.  “There will be another man joining me…a Qunari.  If I could trouble you to provide him with a key when he comes in.”

“Of course, Messere.  It is no problem.  Is there anything else?”

“No, thank you,” he muttered, already turning toward the elevator.

 

He was fine right up until the moment he slid the plastic key into the reader and it blinked green.  Then, unbidden, the thought of his father bribing the bubbly night clerk popped into his head and wouldn’t leave.  Because how simple would it have been to pay the girl off?  How easy to code one more key and slip upstairs to wait.  No public spectacle this time, just Dorian and however many brutes his father brought along to drag him back to Minrathous.  Or perhaps even worse, just father and some new bit of ancient magic…something that required infinitely less blood and was guaranteed to turn Dorian into the biddable, _normal_ son Halward Pavus wanted.

Trembling, he was unaware of the exact moment he let his bag fall with an ignored thump to the ground, his fingers curling reassuringly around his staff as he placed his back against the wall opposite the door that seemed to grow in size every moment until Dorian half expected it to open and swallow him whole.  Biting back a whimper, he tried to tell himself it was all in his mind.  That he could do this, two steps and he’d be at the door, two more and he’d be in the room seeing for himself that it was empty.  

Except…except…except…

“Fuck, Dorian…damn it.”  Bull’s voice cut through the worst of Dorian’s thoughts, the huge Qunari stepping into his field of vision and blessedly blocking out the accursed door, which apparently had not grown nor was trying to eat him.

Bull reached for him, his hands moving slowly and raised so that Dorian could see both of them, only to hesitate just before curling around his shoulders.  “It ok if I touch you, Big Guy?”

Dorian bit back a low cry and closed the last bit of distance between them himself.  It wasn’t professional, but he suddenly felt like if he didn’t feel Bull’s warmth surrounding him he was going to freeze and shatter into a million pieces.   His own arms closed, vice-like around Bull’s waist, staff dropping to the floor, forgotten, as he tucked his head against the larger man’s chest, Bull’s own arms wrapped around him far more gently.  “Ok, Dorian, ok.  It’s all ok,” Bull murmured, one hand firmly planted against the dip of Dorian’s spine, fingers splayed, while the other stroked the back of his head.  “Fuck, this was my fault.  Shouldn’t have let my own shit get in the way.  Should have been here with you.”

Dorian was tempted to tell him that yes, he should have been, then equally tempted to admit he could have behaved like an adult and waited.  In the end he settled for snuffling miserably and squeezing Bull tighter.  Bull just chuffed and went back to murmuring quiet assurances until Dorian stops shaking before finally pulling back far enough to get a look at Dorian’s face.

And kaffas, what an image he must make, Dorian realized as he ducked his head to buy more time.  He’d always been an ugly crier so partner that with a three hour road trip and the fact that it had to be about four in the morning and he’d be lucky if Bull didn’t get one look at him and run for the door.  Not one to be denied however, soon Bull’s fingers were curling under his chin, gently forcing Dorian to look up.  The mage was surprised to see only a soft smile curling Bull’s lips.  “Hey, there you are.  You feel up to telling me what that was about?”

“Do I have to?” Dorian asked, knowing the answer already but not above stalling.

“Nope, we can just stand here all night if you’d rather,” Bull shrugged, his muscles pulling against Dorian’s hold and reminding the mage that he was still gripping the other man like a lifeline.

Forcing his arms to let go was far harder than it should have been and Dorian thought he saw the beginning of a frown cross Bull’s face before his expression turned placid again.  Taking another step back Dorian twisted to look past Bull and was relieved to find that the door once again resembled just a door.  Sighing heavily he admitted, “I was fine until I put the key in the lock, then for some reason I couldn’t get past the thought of father being in there waiting for me.”

He knew his cheeks were reddening, but Bull just continued to look at him calmly, “That how he got to you the first time?”

Somehow Dorian knew that Bull wasn’t talking about Halward’s ambush at the last lecture.  They had been over that event backwards and forwards, discussing all the ways the confrontation could have been avoided or ended until Dorian had felt confident enough to schedule tomorrow’s event, secure that even if father showed up he wouldn’t be forced to deal with him.  No, obviously Bull was breaking into new territory now…things that Dorian didn’t even allow himself to think about when he was feeling most secure let alone in an empty hotel hallway at four am.  “We are not discussing this.”

Bull shrugged and stepped to the side.  “Fine.  You open that door and step through it and we don’t have to discuss it.”

“Bull…”

“Your call, Dorian.  I’m not here to force you to do anything.”

“And what if I take the third option and walk back down to the truck?”

“Fine with me.  Truck’s locked though and I’m not going back down ‘til I’ve had some sleep.  Ok with me if you want to curl up in a truck bed instead of whatever comfortable king size beast is waiting for you in the room.”

Dorian debated stomping his foot, then decided he didn’t care if it made him look like a spoiled child and did exactly that.  “You’re not being fair.”

“You don’t pay me to be fair.”

“Damn it, that’s twice tonight you’ve brought up me paying you and we both know you’re not making a dime this weekend so how about you stop fucking trying to remind me of it.”

Bull had the couth to look uncomfortable at that, a wry grin curling at his lips before he finally chuffed, “Yeah, about that.  Sorry.  You’re right, it’s a bullshit move and I shouldn’t do it.  Would you believe places like this make me nervous?  I mean, earlier, that’s all it was.  Not many hotels like this want a qunari as a guest, even a Tal-Vashoth one.  Too afraid I’ll scuff the wallpaper or slurp my soup or something.”

For the third time tonight Dorian found himself reaching for Bull, his fingers tangling with Bull’s own as he told himself it didn’t need to mean anything.  Bull had just given him so much support it was only the right thing to do to offer some back.  “You could have said something, we could have found somewhere else to stay.”

“And give up those little chocolates they leave on the bed?”

“Bull…”

“Dorian,” Bull countered in exactly the same exasperated tone before sighing heavily.  “The lecture is here, it made sense to stay here, and you’re the…”

Dorian growled, his fingers tightening against Bull’s. “If you say ‘Boss,’ I swear I’m going to freeze one of those illustrious horns off.” Bull chuckled but otherwise stayed quiet, his free hand reaching up to scratch at the base of one horn again, a silence just short of uncomfortable filling the space between them until finally Dorian admitted, “He sent six men after me the first time.  Seven men died while Leonidas and I were lost in each other though they were careful to leave him alive when they pulled me naked from the mansion and shoved me on a ship back to Minrathous.”

“Fuck, Dorian…”

“Yes, well, that’s what started this whole problem, isn’t it?” Dorian found himself muttering, knowing it wasn’t funny but unable to stop himself from saying it.

“You know that wasn’t your fault, right?  Not the men who died, not Leonidas, especially not the fact that your father is a judgmental asshole who is incapable of seeing the amazing man his son has turned into.”

Dorian snorted.  “Oh yes, because having a panic attack at just the thought of entering a room because of something that happened years ago is simply _amazing_.”

Bull used their still joined hands to tug Dorian up against him with a little growl, his free hand once more cupping under Dorian’s chin and forcing him to look up.  “What’s amazing is that you’ve dealt with what that asshole did to you so well for so long.  Admitting that you need help to finally put it behind you isn’t weak Dorian, it’s strong.   _You’re_ strong.”

Dorian read the intent in Bull’s eye but still the huge man paused his descent toward Dorian’s mouth a hair’s breadth from Dorian’s, “May I?”

“Infuriating man,” Dorian whispered, surging up to close the distance himself.  He felt Bull’s smile against his own lips for the moment before Bull’s free arm wrapped tightly around his waist and pulled him up off his feet, the huge man’s teeth nipping at his lower lip.  Bull took advantage of the little moan that escaped Dorian, his tongue sweeping into Dorian’s mouth with the same assurance that he had entered Dorian’s life and tasting of cheap roadside coffee and something darker, richer, like a fifty year old scotch and Dorian found he couldn’t get enough.

Apparently Bull couldn’t either as Dorian found himself backed against the wall, Bull finally letting his feet touch the ground again so his palm could roam freely down Dorian’s side, his filed claws tracing the dips between Dorian’s ribs before cupping his entire hip in one huge hand.  Finally breaking apart when the need for air became too great, Bull leaned his forehead against Dorian’s and gave Dorian an embarrassed grin.  “Pretty sure that blew calling you Boss right out of the water.”

“Depends on if you’re into that sort of thing.”

“Dorian…”

“Fine.  Kaffas, you and your need to talk everything out,” Dorian sighed, letting his head hit the wall behind him.  “Yes, it might have been unprofessional and yes, I _absolutely_ want to do it again…preferably not in a very public hallway.”

Bull chuffed, his hand raising to swipe across Dorian’s kiss-swollen lips.  “Not sure I can stay your coach after this.”

“I can hire another coach, there’s only one you, Bull.”

Dorian watched Bull’s eye flare with surprise and realized that the huge qunari had actually expected Dorian to chastise him for the hottest kiss Dorian had had in…well, ever, if he was being honest.  He wondered how many other insecurities Bull hid beneath that confident grin he always wore.  Amazingly, Dorian found he actually wanted to learn the answer to that, and perhaps more importantly, help erase them the way Bull had helped him with his own issues.

“Come on,” Dorian said, tugging Bull toward their suite, “I shall face my fears and then you can reward me for being so brave, yes?” His hands shook minutely but the warm weight of Bull’s palms pressed against his own steadied his resolve.

“Just what exactly do you have in mind?” Bull asked cautiously, his smile saying he knew _exactly_ what Dorian was thinking.

“You’re a smart man, you’ll figure something out.”


End file.
